Making Lemonade

5 Months

2011-06-26T20:26:00.000-07:00

Levi will be 5 months old next weekend. My baby boy is growing so fast. Here's the latest on what's been going on around here. Levi had his last doctors appointment about two weeks ago and he weighed 16 pounds, 9 ounces. His length is in the 69 percentile, weight is in the 65 percentile, and head circumference is in the 89 percentile. The doctor said there has been lots of brain development going on...I guess!! Levi is wearing 6 month, 6-9 month, and 9 month outfits. Because it has been so hot over the last few days I have been putting him in just onsies when we are just hanging around the house. Today he was in a 12 month onsie. Last week we started giving Levi rice cereal. Just a little at first and now we have worked up to two feedings of rice cereal a day. And the kid loves it! He is still nursing and that is going really well. He is eating about 30-35 ounces of breast milk a day. On the days that I am at work he does get one 5 ounce bottle of formula but other than the rest is all breast milk. I am hoping that since he will be eating solid foods more in the future the demand for breast milk won't be so much so we can get rid of that one bottle of formula but right now I am just not able to pump enough at work to compensate. I am only working three days a week so it all still works out well. My goal is to keep nursing till he is a year...so far so good. Levi has become a little talker. He is always talking away in his exersaucer or when he is laying on his back. He loves to hear the sound of his own voice. When we give him a bath at night he loves to hear what his voice sounds like under water, its so cute to watch him figure out all the different sounds. Levi had his first trip to the ER last weekend. He had a febrile seizure that about gave us a heart attack, it was probably the scariest thing I have ever been through. He was rushed to the hospital by an ambulance and after two days in the hospital it was concluded that he had a UTI. He has been on antibiotics for over a week and he has not had a fever since last Monday. He seems to be doing really well. We are going in on Tuesday for some further testing to confirm that his little kidneys are working well since it is very rare for a boy that young to have a UTI. Needless to say Rob and I have been pretty stressed this last week. The kid has not left my sight, and any time he cries I am right there. He is becoming quite spoiled. I just can't get the image of him having his seizure out of my head. So he is just going to have to be spoiled then!! Here are some recent photos of little man:

3 Years

2011-05-26T08:48:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday Rob and I celebrated our third anniversary, it's amazing where life has taken us in three short years. In September it will mark five years together, it has been the best five years!! We have had our fair share of ups and downs, many, many tears but many, many laughs too. And at the end of each and every day I am so blessed to come home and be with the greatest guy a girl could ask for.

Over the last few years there have been some trying times, times when I was very unsure of things. But one thing that I have always been sure of is the strong love and commitment my hubby and I share and that we are in this together, forever. Happy Anniversary baby - I love you ABT (a billion ton...inside joke)!!

Mr. Pumkin Head

2011-05-19T09:40:00.000-07:00

I am bad, I admit. I have been meaning to update this for weeks but life has been super busy. I went back to work three weeks ago and it has been going really well. I am working Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and that schedule seems to fit really well. Levi is with his two grandma's on the days I am at work and he and I both LOVE that. I love how when he comes home he smells like either his Nani's (my mom) house or his Grandma (Rob's mom) house. It's the sweet smell of warmth, love, and a little dose of spoiled baby!

Levi is changing all the time. The happiest change around here has been that he is sleeping through the night. About a week ago he slept from 7:30-6:30 and it was amazing. Scary for me at first because I kept waking myself up thinking that he should have woken up at some point but after numerous trip to his room to check on him I realized that he was just ready to sleep through the night. I still wake up every few hours to check on him, I am hoping eventually I will let my anxiety back off a bit so that mommy can sleep through the night as well.

I call Levi my pumpkin head because his head is so round he looks like a pumpkin. It's the cutest thing. He is also a super happy baby. Within seconds of looking at him he will give you this huge gummy smile, his whole face lights up when he smiles. He also loves to hear my voice - which I love. I can always get a reaction out of him when I start talking or singing to him.

A few milestone he has reached are that he can roll from tummy to back, he can hold his head up anytime he is held or when he has tummy time. I think he is getting ready to roll over from back to tummy cause he will do this thing where he arches his back really high like he is going to roll over.

I am still nursing full time and try to keep up with Levi's demand by pumping on my days at work. Very rarely do we have to supplement a bottle of formula and if we have to its usually only about 3-4 ounces, the rest of the time he gets breast milk. I have been lucky that has been going well, Levi will take a bottle with no problems and then will shift right back into nursing. I am so happy that has worked out.

So all-in-all things around here have been going really well. We are LOVING EVERY MINUTE with our little man, we just hope he doesn't grow up too fast!!

Too fast

2011-04-18T21:02:00.000-07:00

It seems like over night, literally, my little man is starting to grow up. We started last night putting him in the crib that's in his room. He did really well, only got up at 4:30 am to eat and then went right back to bed. Even though he only got up that one time I was still up every few hours so that I could go in and check on him. It was torture. It took everything in me to not pick him up in his sweet little onsie and put him in bed to snuggle with me. I couldn't believe how well he did. I secretly was hoping that the transition period would not have happened so quickly. I was hoping that part of the night he would sleep in his room and then spend the rest of the night back in our room so that I could watch his every move all night long. But I guess baby boy was ready, even though I was not.

Then tonight my girlfriend and I went to a class at the gym and I planned it perfectly so that daddy would give Levi his bath and get him into his pj's so that as soon as I got home I could nurse him and then put him to bed. When I got home at 7:30, which is usually the time he is ready to eat and go to bed I found him asleep in daddy's arms. We decided to go ahead and just put him to bed. I wanted to cry, I felt so un-needed. For the past three month my little boy has been so dependent on me and all of a sudden it felt like he didn't need his mommy so much anymore. What am I going to do when I start back to work in two weeks? This mommy gig is really hard on the heart strings. If I could keep him in my arms and in my sight until he is an old man you know I would. It was so much easier to keep him right were I wanted him when he was in my uterus.

This is how Levi sleeps. Yes, it scares the heck out of me - so much that literally every 10-15 minutes I am going in till he falls asleep to pull the blanket back. It is really cute though to see him rub his nose back and forth on the soft part of the blanket till he falls asleep.

Levi is 2 months old!!

2011-04-06T08:06:00.000-07:00

Wow. Has it really been two months already? In so many ways it feels like just yesterday I was laying around the house with my big ol' belly just waiting to pop and in other ways it feels like Levi has always been apart of us. Life has definitely changed these last few months. Here is the latest on our little man.

First (an most importantly), Levi does not like to sleep!! He will do a few 15-20 minute naps throughout the day and that is about it. Makes it very hard for me to get anything done around the house, much less try and catch up on some sleep myself. Although he doesn't like to sleep during the day he is pretty good for us at night. We start our bedtime routine at about 7:15 and he is usually in bed, asleep by 8. Last night I put him to bed when he was still pretty awake and within about 15 minutes he put himself to sleep. So far we have been pretty lucky with getting to bed at night. It was pretty rough in the beginning though but I think we now have the hang of it.

Levi loves to eat!! He is still nursing about every 2-2 1/2 hours. I have been trying to pump in between feedings so that I can have a nice back up supply stored for when I got back to work in a few weeks but it is pretty hard to do when your child is constantly eating. We had Levi's 2 month appointment on Monday and he now weighs 12 lbs 7 ozs and I actually though he was going to weigh more than that because he is such a chunky-monkey.

It's amazing to watch all the new little things that Levi is discovering. At night I am no longer giving him a pacifier because he has become very content with his thumb/finger. It is so cute to listen to the little sounds of contentment he makes when he is sucking on his fingers. He has also become a real talker, especially in the morning. Right after he gets up I take him to his room to change his diaper and almost immediately he starts grinning and making little noises when I put his on his changing pad. It is so precious. I love how he smiles right back at you when you look at him, he is such a little character.

At the appointment on Monday Levi measured 23 1/2 inches. He has a really long torso so most of the clothes he is wearing now are 3-6 months or 6 months. Yesterday I put him in a long sleeved onsie and it was a 6-9 month. I am very interested to see if he will always be a few sizes ahead or of eventually he will fit into his actual size. Either way I am just glad that he is growing so well.

Based on the measurements taken at the doctors office - Levi's weight is in the 65% tile, 75% tile for length, and 62% tile for head circumference. He also got his first round of immunizations. He did really well, he didn't really even cry. He was a little fussy yesterday but with a little baby Tylenol he did much better.

Here are some recent photos of our little man -

Levi is 6 weeks!!

2011-03-13T15:33:00.000-07:00

Where has the time gone? Here is the latest on our little man -

At his last doctors appointment a few weeks ago he was 10 lbs 7 oz and is now measuring at 24 inches. He loves to eat!! The first few weeks after he was born I was having to supplement at night about 2-4 ounces with formula because I was not able to keep up with his ferocious appetite. Since then I have become a milk machine and Levi is now exclusively breastfed and so far so good. I am really thankful that the breastfeeding has been going really well. I have been pumping about 6 extra ounces that I am freezing so that when I go back to work I will have a good supply.

This last week Levi's little personality has really starting to come out. He has always smiled in his sleep but this last week he started smiling at you when you look at him. It is the cutest thing I have ever seen - nothing beats a precious, gummy smile.

He is also holding his head up a lot. He has never really liked being burped over the shoulder but when you put him up there to burp him he waves his head all over the place. You really have to be careful that he doesn't hurt himself. He is also getting really close to rolling over. Whenever I lay him on his changing table or on the sink in the bathroom to get him ready for a bath he turns his whole body to one side. I am sure in the next few weeks he will be rolling over.

Levi is no longer in newborn OR 0-3 clothing. In fact just yesterday I put him in a 3 month outfit and he may only get to wear it one other time because he is getting so big. It's hilarious, he is built just like his daddy, very long waisted with short, stocky legs. I have a feeling he will be a linebacker on the football team when he gets older.

Here are some recent photos of my precious baby boy -

My little prince

2011-02-05T19:47:00.000-08:00

The last thirty six hours have been amazing! We are loving every minute with our precious Levi.

He's here!!

2011-02-04T14:27:00.000-08:00

Levi Jon Turnage - born February 2 at 2:44am. 8lbs & 20 1/2 inches long. He is perfect!! More pictures to come....

38 Weeks

2011-01-27T08:43:00.000-08:00

It feels like it has taken forever to get here and now that we are so close to the end it still feels like an eternity until my due date!! I am so ready to have this baby. The next few weeks I am hoping and praying will go by quickly, but part of me thinks that since I want to go into labor so bad, inevitably this baby will be late. Figures!! :)

Over all I am feeling pretty good. I have the normal aches and pains. Sleeping is completely out of the question. I now sleep on the couch at night because I feel so bad when I wake Rob up a million times during the night when I know he has to get up and go to work in the morning. He never complains when I wake him up and he even asks if I need his help but I still feel bad. Especially now that the baby has decided that the most comfortable spot to sleep on is my bladder which has me up 4-6 times a night.

My edema is still pretty bad. I tried to put my wedding ring on the other day and I couldn't even get it to fit my pinkie! My feet and ankles haven't gotten too bad but my hands and face don't even look the same to me at all.

I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon. I am pretty sure that it will be just a "touch bases" kind of appointment. Not too much changes from last week so I am assuming the doctor will just schedule to see me again next week. I have been monitoring my blood pressure ever now and again and it seems to be stabilizing pretty well. It is very much in the normal ranges when I lay on my side and take it.

They did some blood work on me on Sunday when I went in to L&D for some monitoring and all my labs came back normal so it looks like I may avoid getting pre-eclampsia all together. I think as long as the blood pressure can stay in check we should be fine.

We will keep friends and family posted when the big day comes or if anything changes. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers over the next few weeks!! Hopefully it won't be too long from now that Baby T makes their grand entrance!! :)

35 Weeks

2011-01-07T15:47:00.000-08:00

I survived another week of being at home, doing nothing. I am so ready to have this baby!! It amazes me to think how much my life has already changed in the last three weeks - and the baby is not even here yet. I went from working full time, always on the go and being away from the house about ten hours a day to being a full time couch potato!!

I woke up on Tuesday morning and things just felt a little different. When I first got out of bed I noticed a lot of pressure and I just assumed that it was the way I had been sleeping or something. After a few hours I noticed that it had not changed. When I took a shower later on that day, I looked in the mirror when I got out of the shower and I could tell that my stomach looked a lot lower. I became a little concerned, especially since it seemed like the baby was much more sluggish with movement than usual. At that point I decided to call the doctor just to make sure that this was "normal."

The doctors office called me back about an hour later and asked a series of questions. At that point I was not experiencing any contractions and the baby had started picking up in movement since I had first called. The nurse told me to monitor it. If I started having an contractions or if the baby wasn't responding with the kick counts to immediately go to L&D. I had an appoitment on Thursday so I decided to just take it easy and wait to see the doctor unless anything else happened.

On Wednesday night I woke up at about 2 am with mild contractions. They weren't horrible but they were strong enough to wake me up and keep me a wake for about an hour or so. They were never very regular and they only lasted about twenty seconds so I knew it wasn't the start of labor, just stronger Braxton Hicks.

I went to my appointment yesterday and as usual my blood pressure was high 142/87. The doctor took it again later and it had gone down a bit but was still a little elevated. I told him what I had experienced the night before with the contractions and he asked me if I was still feeling the pressure down low. I told him yes and so he laid me down and felt down low by my pelvic bone and he did confirm that the baby's head was really low. He told me that he wanted me to go over to L&D to see if I was indeed having any contractions.

I headed over to L&D were they monitored me for about three hours. The readings indicated that I was not having any contractions at that point - which I pretty much figured since I wasn't experiencing any of the discomforts or cramping that I had the night before. They did some blood work that the nurse said was "elevated" from the last time I had been in on December 15Th. Also my blood pressure never really came down - I think the lowest reading was 133/83.

So after all the tests came in I was sent home but I was instructed to take it very easy. I am not sure how much more of a couch potato I can become but I guess I will have to figure that out. I have another appointment next week - I will post more then.

35 weeks - as you can see I am very swollen in the face which is a symptom of pre-eclampsia/hypertension.

Got Bump?

2011-01-02T08:15:00.000-08:00

35 weeks -

I had to take a picture of how swollen my legs are. There is no denying the water retention!!

Running out of things to do!

2011-01-02T08:11:00.000-08:00

Since I have been at home for the last few weeks I have been trying to keep myself busy with little projects here and there. Baby T's room is officially done and some time last week I decided to pack the baby's bag for the hospital - now all I need to do is get mine packed...then we wait...and wait. I have to admit that packing the bag for the hospital did feel very surreal. I can't believe we are on the home stretch. I can't wait to hold this little precious one in my arms - alive and healthy. Please God, just get us there...

The Latest

2010-12-20T18:45:00.000-08:00

Time is just flying by and I keep telling myself that I need to put an update on here but every time I sit down something else comes up that distracts me. Life is just super busy right now to say the least. I decided not to do the "pregnancy questionnaire" this week, instead I am just going do a recap of what's been going on latly.

This week I am going into my 33rd week of pregnancy. Last week we had our regular scheduled doctor's appointment. Starting at 28 weeks we have been going in every two weeks. They did all the normal tests - weight, abdominal measurements, listened to the baby's heart beat, and took my blood pressure. Couple issue came up this time that I was not expecting. First my blood pressure was pretty high - 140'ish/over 80 something. Then the doctor noticed that I had gained another 6 pounds in two weeks. I knew that I had been packing on the pounds but I had no idea that I had put on that much!!

The doctor started asking me questions - how many hours am I on my feet during the day? How much water was I drinking in an hour? He took my blood pressure again to confirm that it was still pretty elevated and it still was. He told me that he wanted me to go over to Labor and Delivery for some monitoring. There they would do some blood work and test my blood pressure every ten minutes or so to see if by me laying how with my feet up if my blood pressure went down or not. He said that he was a little concerned about preeclampsia but he was also thinking that my weight gain was mostly water weight and that since I am on my feet all day my body is not properly absorbing any water I may be drinking during the day.

So, we headed over to L&D. They ran a bunch of test all of which came back looking fine, including my urine that showed no traces of protein (a strong indicator of preecampsia). After about two hours of monitoring my blood pressure did go down. My last reading was 114/63 and they said that I could go home, however, I was put on modified bed rest. So last Wednesday was my last day at work. I am only able to be up for a few hours but then have to rest for a few hours before getting up again. At first I was very disappointed. I was hoping that I could work all the way up until my due date and anyone who knows me knows that I am the ultimate planner and going off of work at 32 weeks was not in my plan. I cried that night because I was just not ready to give up work yet but Rob reassured me that it was in the best interest for me and the baby and obviously that is most important.

So needless to say I have been doing a whole lot of nothing these last few days. I did however put up a few things in the baby's room. I am excited because other than hanging one last wall sign the room is done. It is so exciting to think that Baby T could be here in just a few weeks. I will find out more at my next appointment - which is on Wednesday, what the game plan from here will be. Based on conversation from our last appointment the doctor wants to get me to 37 weeks, that is the goal he said. Not sure what that means entirely but for now I am going to sit tight...with my feet up!!

Here is my latest glamour shot...

And some updated shots of Baby T's room -

Still here...

2010-11-28T18:58:00.000-08:00

Things have been really busy in the Turnage household these past few weeks. With all the holiday stuff, doctor appointments, and still working full time - things have been a little crazy needless to say.

We are approaching our 30th week and for the most part I am feeling pretty good. I have discomforts when sitting for long periods of time but for the most part I am feeling pretty good. I put on six pounds between my last two appointments that had me and the doctor surprised. I do however, feel that it is only fair that I be graded on a curve since Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas all fall at a very hungry period of time for me. After all, everyone gains some weight during the holidays - right?! So why does that doctor have to pick on me??? :)

We have our next doctors appointment tomorrow. I am not sure what is on the agenda. If I can remember correctly a few weeks ago the doctor saying that I would have another ultrasound around 30 weeks but I can not be sure, guess we will find out tomorrow.

Yesterday we did our Stager family tradition and went and got our tree at my grandparents cabin. We had a great time, except for all the trucks getting stuck in the snow a few times over!! Rob would not say he had as much fun as I did but hey, it's tradition!!

Here is my recent photo, thought I would take a picture in front of our beautiful tree...

And me in my warm winter pants or "ho-bo" pants as my mom calls them...

The Nursery

2010-11-21T11:36:00.000-08:00

Rob has been working really hard the last month or so on getting the baby's room painted and putting up the chair rail. Yesterday I spent the day putting things away and getting a start on some of the decorative stuff. We have more furniture we plan on putting in there as well as more wall decor but here is what we have accomplished so far...

26 weeks

2010-11-04T19:59:00.001-07:00

How far along? 26 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: 18 pounds. I feel so huge but according to everything I have read it says that I am still in a healthy range. I do often wonder how I can get any bigger...guess I will soon find out.

Maternity clothes? Oh yeah. In fact it has been so long since I have been in my regular clothes that I am really starting to miss them. I bought a new pair of work pants and four nursing bras last night so I am looking forward to getting those in the next few weeks.

Stretch marks? None yet. I did have a another scare the other day but my mom re-assured me that if it was a true stretch mark I would know. She told me that they are bright purple when they first appear...awesome.

Best moment this week? Halloween. Had a blast with my family. My mom and I dressed up as scary look'in witches and scared all the neighborhood kids. Next weekend we are getting our professional belly shots done and this weekend Rob will be working on the baby's room. Lots of stuff on the list to work on....

Movement: Baby T has been pretty active. It's becoming much easier to predict the times when he/she is sleeping or when they are about to get really active. I love it all. I could lay and watch my belly move around for hours. It's such an amazing thing to see my little one moving around inside me.

Food cravings: Nope, but I definitely had my fair share of candy this last week. I am on a serious "no sweets" mission right now...at least until the next holiday comes around. :)

Gender: Still waiting....

Labor Signs: Not really but about a week ago I started getting Braxton Hicks. Yeah that's not very fun. At first I thought there was something wrong but within an hour or so the cramping went away. I get it every now and again and it only lasts for about an hour or so and then it goes away. They tell me it's just my body getting used to what is to come in the next few months. Hey, if it minimizes the pain during labor I will gladly take the hour or so of discomfort.

Belly Button in or out? In, but we almost have an outtie.

What I am looking forward to: Holding my Baby Bean and smelling their sweetness. I am also looking forward to seeing the nursery done. I have two showers coming up in the next month so that is very exciting. I am really looking forward to seeing everyone together.

Emotions: All in all I feel pretty good. I have a few bad days here and there but I think a lot of that has to do with my allergies. The weather has been really weird this year and I think all the changes are effecting my sensitivity to stuff. As long as I can get a good night sleep I seem to d pretty good. I am just trying to enjoy these last few weeks before I start to get really uncomfortable.

26 week photos:

24 Weeks

2010-10-23T11:08:00.000-07:00

How far along? 24 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: 13 pounds. We had a doctor's appointment on Tuesday and everything went well. I was in and out in about 15 minutes. Dr. Scates just measured me, checked my blood pressure, listened to the babies heartbeat, and asked a few questions (ie - any contractions? any spotting? etc). He gave me a lab slip so that I could get my glucose tolerance done which I did the next day. He told me that overall everything looked great. He called me Goldilocks and when he said that I just kind of looked at him and he said, "because you everything looks just right." That made me smile.

Maternity clothes? Oh yeah. I am sad because I think the Belly Band and me are going to have to part ways. Its getting to the point were I can't wear any of my regular pants, even with the belly band on. Oh well, maybe one day we will be reunited again.

Stretch marks? Nope. I did think that I got one this last week but fortunately it was just a scare. I just I just slept really hard the night before cause when I got up and looked at my belly in the mirror I thought I saw a stretch mark but it went away a few hours later so it must have just been an indentation mark left from sleeping so hard.

Best moment this week? The baby started having hiccups. I never got to experience that with Luke so it was pretty neat once I started figuring out what it was. I only wish the baby would have then during the day instead of on and off all night. Oh well, I love the movement...even if it does keep me up all night!! :)

Movement: The baby is still pretty quiet during the day. I can usually time when I can expect more movement. The baby seemed to get active in the late afternoon - usually between 3pm and 4pm and then it is usually quite again until after dinner. Then its off and on dancing in utero all night long for little Baby T, of course stopping now and again to have the hiccups.

Food cravings: Nothing. It's weird to me that I have not had any specific food cravings. I still have a very healthy appetite but I am having to eat smaller meals more often because I have been getting pretty bad indigestion, especially after a big meal.

Gender: Only God knows...well, and the ultrasound tech lady who has probably already forgotten.

Labor Signs: Nope

Belly Button in or out? Still in but the skin around it is sure getting tight.

What I am looking forward to: Professional portraits. In a few weeks we are going to get belly shots done by a local photography. I am really looking forward to that. It will be the first time Rob and I have taken professional photos since our wedding.

Emotions: Feeling really good. Since going back to my counselor I have really noticed my anxiety levels decreasing. She has been really helpful in giving me techniques to help alleviate some of my anxiety - (taking a bath to calm my nerves, reading a book that has nothing to do with babies, practicing yoga). Plus having the holidays and lots of fun upcoming events my mind has been occupied with other things and think that has been really helpful.

Here is my 24 week photo:

Fall 2010

2010-10-18T20:24:00.000-07:00

I love fall. The change in the season, cooler weather, all the holiday decor, it is my most favorite time of the year. This last weekend we went to the pumpkin patch with some dear friends. Had a great time, ate lots of naughty foods although it was most definitely worth it - had a huge slice of apple pie with ice cream. It was most delicious.

Things have been going pretty well for us. Rob started on the nursery this last weekend. Kind of crazy to think that a baby will be sleeping in there one day. I am starting to get a little nervous when I think of all the little things that have to be done in preparation for the babies arrival but I also have faith that all things will work themselves out in the end.

Here are some pictures from the pumpkin patch and also of Baby T's crib being put together...I will update more later on this week. Have our next doctors appointment tomorrow so I will try to get an update on here by then end of the week.

22 Weeks

2010-10-05T20:20:00.000-07:00

How far along? 22 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: I haven't weighed myself in a few days but I am sure I have put on a pound or so this week. There has definitely be a growth spurt that occurred over the last few weeks. I am starting to feel pretty big.

Maternity clothes? Oh yeah. Almost everything is maternity that I wear. I can still pull off a few non-maternity pants with the belly band but that is about it. All tops have to be either maternity or a large to fit over the hump.

Stretch marks? None yet but the skin is really starting to get tight and itchy. I am crossing my fingers that no stretch marks will appear but I think that may be wishful thinking.

Best moment this week? Good sleep. I seem to have a difficult time getting to sleep (restlessness) but once I do get fall asleep it is awesome. It's a very hard, deep sleep. I love it. I am sure the bigger I get however, it will be back to tossing and turning. I am going to savor this precious time!!

Movement: It's gradually getting more and more consistent. This baby hasn't really created much of a consistent schedule yet, at least not that I can tell. I do love that every day it seems to get a little stronger and I notice the movement more and more. Such an amazing feeling. Can't wait till we can seem the movement from the outside.

Food cravings: Nope. I am trying really hard to stay to a healthy diet. I did splurge over the weekend at some friends house. It was football Sunday so it was lots of pizza and junk food...it was awesome. I do allow a splurge here and there but for the most part I am being good about monitoring my sugar and carb intake.

Gender: Only God knows...(well, and the ultrasound lady too). :)

Labor Signs: Nope, just lots of indigestion. That's my latest pregnancy symptom.

Belly Button in or out? In. It sure is getting stretched though.

What I am looking forward to: The nursery. We got a few of our "big" items over the weekend and I am soooo excited. My parents got us the crib we wanted so I am sure that we will be putting that together in the next few months. Also, we have decided on the bedding and decor we want to do for the nursery so we are going to start shopping around for the paint colors we will need. Super exciting!!

Emotions: Feeling really good. I still have my days that are filled with anxiety and fear but I know that is just part of this whole deal. I try really hard to work through that at it is starting to get better. I am really looking forward to the upcoming holidays. I know the holiday time is going to fly by which is great cause it brings us closer and closer to seeing our precious Baby T.

Here is my 22 week picture..I know, I am huge!! :)

Vacation

2010-09-21T21:17:00.001-07:00

Rob and I just got back from an amazing trip to Alaska. We did a seven day cruise up there and got to stop in Victoria, BC on the way. We also got to spend a fun filled day in Seattle, WA before heading home. It was nice to be able to have some down time with just the two of us. We both read two books, ate a lot, and just enjoyed the beautiful scenery. Here are some of our pictures.

20 Weeks

2010-09-21T20:48:00.000-07:00

How far along? Just about 20 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: About seven pounds. To be fair, yesterday when we went to our appointment we had just got back from a seven day cruise to Alaska and all we did was eat so technically I should have been graded on a curve!! :)

Maternity clothes? Still able to pull off my belly band with most of my regular pants. I did buy a few maternity pants for work tonight online because I know pretty soon I won't be able to fit into my regular pants anymore. Almost all the tops I am wearing are maternity.

Stretch marks? None yet. I am lathering up every morning with this super thick paste-like lotion I got at Bath and Body Works. They say there is no way to prevent stretch marks but I am still going to do my due diligence.

Best moment this week? By far the best part of this whole pregnancy was yesterday at our appointment. It was the appointment Rob and I had both been anxious for since we found out we were pregnant. Yesterday was the big 20 week anatomy ultrasound. It was at the 20 weeks appointment with Luke that we first found out that something was severely wrong. The ultrasound tech was awesome with us, going over every little things with us - the heart, the kidneys, the brain and the whole time she kept saying, "this baby looks perfect." All I could do was cry with joy. Up until that moment I could not imagine having a healthy baby inside me. I was trying really hard to be optimistic everyday but so much of me could not rationalize everything being okay., And it was even better than okay, he/she was perfect.

Movement: There is definitely movement going on, just not real consistent yet. I look forward to the more rapid movement that should be happening any time now.

Food cravings: Not really. I have always enjoyed food, but as far as one food that stands out more than others has not happened yet.

Gender: Surprise to come in February. I really wanted to find out at our appointment yesterday but Rob stayed firm on not wanting to find out (which I am secretly really excited that we...I mean he, was able to be okay with not knowing). In the end I am sure we will both be so glad that we waited.

Labor Signs: None at all.

Belly Button in or out? Still in.

What I am looking forward to: The holidays. They are going to be here before we know it but I just love that time of year. The weather is changing, all the fall colors, and I love getting together with family. The holidays will make the time go by really fast because once they are over we only have about a month until the baby comes.

Emotions: Feeling really good. I feel like yesterday was a huge hurdle that I was really wanting to get over. I still am not 100% on letting go of all my fears but the reality is that I will never be 100%. Until this baby is in my arms, alive and happy I will still worry. But getting a green light yesterday has majorly helped in calming my nerves.

Here is my 20 week photo:

And here is Baby T's most recent ultrasound pics:

15 Weeks

2010-08-18T20:19:00.000-07:00

How far along? 15 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: Apparently I have only gained a few pounds. I am not going to disclose how much I weight because I don't feel comfortable sharing that information, however today I weighed in at what I thought was what I weighed before I got pregnant but after talking to the doctor he read my chart and I guess I weighed about two or three pounds less before I got pregnant. Either way, so far I have only gained a few pounds and I was pleasantly surprise to hear the doctor tell me that he would like to see me weight a little bit more. I wanted to laugh, I already feel huge!!

Maternity clothes? For the most part. Thanks to the belly band I am still able to wear most of my non-pregnant pants. In fact today at our appointment I was able to wear my size 4 shorts, with the belly band of course.

Stretch marks? Not yet and hoping that remains the case.

Best moment this week? Movement and also looking pregnant. I have had a lot of people ask me about my pregnancy without even telling them I am pregnant. Also on a bright note - no more morning sickness!! Woohoo!!

Movement: Yes, I love it. It still just a lot of fluttering but ever once in a while I can feel a pretty strong kick.

Food cravings: None so far.

Gender: Lots of green and yellow in the Turnage home!!

Labor Signs: None.

Belly Button in or out? Still tucked in.

What I am looking forward to: Relaxing this weekend. Had a fun filled weekend in Florida but am really tired. I am looking forward to getting caught up on my sleep and getting back to a normal, healthy diet. Lots of junk food was consumed on our trip.

Emotions: Feeling good. I told the doctor today that I am really getting anxious about our next appointment. We have chosen not to do any screenings and so the only real ultrasound we will have will be in 4 weeks. That is when they do the anatomy testing - the same appointment that Luke's condition was first discovered. I just was to get through that appointment and hopefully get a green light.

Milestones: Baby T got to go on its first airplane ride, first trip to Disneyworld, and also got to go out of state. A lot of firsts this last weekend.

Picture time...got a few for this week....don't mind my wild hair. We were in Florida and this is what my hair does in the humidity. : )

Some progress...

2010-08-02T20:38:00.000-07:00

I found it!! I knew there was a bed in that room somewhere!! Oh and look, that cute antique dresser has been found as well. So glad we were able to find those things cause I was really starting to wonder if they would ever return.

Let's here it for my awesome chef, I mean husband, who whiped up a super yummy (and very healthy I might add) dinner for us tonight. My insides are feeling better already.

PS - The tomatoes are from our garden.

And on a final note I just needed to post the most recent picture of my husband. Now let me just say that I love my husband dearly and I just find him to be so stink'in cute. Even last night, when he walked into the office were I was minding my own business when he comes in and tells me, "look honey, I shaved my head." There were a few things that came to my mind at that moment that I wanted to say to him but the only thing I could do was laugh. My husband, God love him!!

Mama's Back!!

2010-08-01T11:40:00.000-07:00

That's it. I have had it. No more! For the past three months I have been stuck in a rut. I have been tired, grumpy, moody, and down right not fun to be around - even I am sick of myself. So the buck stops here. Today. Right now.

Bridget Jone's Diary has been on the ABC Family Channel the last few weeks and I have watched it a few times - pathetic I know, I am sure there are a million things I could have been doing instead of wasting brain cells on meaningless things such as the television but that it my whole point exactly. I have turned into a slug that just mopes around the house while I watch my thighs turn into cottage cheese. Enough, is enough.

Yes, I have been super tired building a baby inside me, and yes, I have had pretty narly morning sickness but I am sooo moving on. So today while watching Bridget Jone's Diary I was inspired to make a list - or dairy as she did - of the things that I have been wanting and needing to do but have had no motivation to do so. Now please note that I am aware that in the movie Bridget's goal was to lose weight, smoke less, and drink less and in the end she ends up right at the place were she started. I have greater hopes for myself. So here it goes. The many things I wish to tackles, there is no turing back now...

1.) The laundry. Ugh. Rob and I both HATE doing laundry. So much that we avoid it like the plague. Rob will somehow find the oldest, dingiest undershirt that has more holes in it than Swiss cheese to wear when all others are dirty. The same shirt I could have swore I threw out three years ago. When this shirt comes out I know that it is time to do the laundry.

But the problem that we have is not necessarily doing the laundry, it's the folding and putting it away. that is were we fall short. Our guest bedroom has turned into an extension of the laundry room. Literally. The clothes come out of the dryer, get transferred to the guest bed were it will sit for weeks. Rob and I will every morning walk down to the guest bedroom to get the articles of clothing we may need for that day. Wasted energy. If only we could just complete this task from start to finish we could easily save five to ten minutes rumaging through the heap of clothes that dominates our guest bedroom. One a side note however, it has become a fun task trying to figure out ways to make it downstairs without the neighbors seeing our naked, underwear-less bodies.

Challenge #1 - Turn my guest bedroom back into a functioning bedroom and start doing laundry on an as-needed basis instead of piling (literally) it up.

2.) Exercise. As some of you may know, I ran a 5K about three months ago. To some that may not mean much, but for me it was a huge personal goal. It was something that I trained for and felt a huge sense of accomplishment once I completed it. Since becoming pregnant - well more like since 5 weeks of pregnancy - just the thought of going on a run makes me want to take a nap. In fact over the last few months I have become so out of shape that by the time I make it up our stairs I am out of breath. That is pathetic.

I have no intentions of trying to start a vigorous workout regimen at this stage of pregnancy, however I do feel that a moderate, daily exercise route is not only essential for my health but also for the health of the baby.

Challenge #2 - Incorporate exercise into my daily routine. I will walk one of the dogs every day for at least thirty minutes. I will also start doing yoga at least three times a week.

3.) Health and nutrition. I have always been one to believe that moderation is the way to go with just about everything. Most especially when it comes to eating habits. I do not believe in depriving yourself of a few sweets here in there, and yes, sometimes it is okay to eat a whole bag of potatoes chips in one sitting all by yourself. However a balance diet is key to keeping good health and weigt management.

Normally I eat a very balanced diet filled with lots of fruits and veggies, always a good protein for dinner like grilled chicken or fish and most carbs I would eat are filled with lots of fiber. Lately, it has been a different story. The best way I can describe how I have been eating - CRAP. Junk food, lots of complex carbs, and even soda (which I normally never drink) has been on the menu a lot lately and I am sick of it!!

Challenge #3 - Bring back the old eating habits. Starting today I am filling up the fridge with lots of fiber, protein, and omega-3 enriched foods, along with the fruit basket filled with all the fruits and veggies me and the baby will need!!

Also, lots and lots of water. Goodbye soda, it was fun while it lasted...

4.) Inspiration. It is time I dust off my bookshelf and start spending my down time on reading books that are useful and inspiring. It is time to get back those brain cells I lost on meaningless television shows about the Kardashian sister or about people who are obsessed with things. I have turned into a reality-show junkie and I am the first to admit that I need help!! So it is time to turn the thinking cap back on and use my time being inspired or educated.

Challenge #4 - Reading books with substance. It is time to become empowered and enlightened.

So off I go to embark on my new agenda. Thank you Bridget Jones for being the Quantum Sex Goddess you are and for inspiring me to take hold of my life and regain my sense of self. I do wish I could get back those eighty two minutes of time I spent sprawled on the couch in clothes I have worn since Friday night, and with hair so greasy you could fry burger patties on it, and all the while looking down at the cottage cheese my legs have become during every commercial. But it is you Bridget Jones that have set me free. I have become so inspired that when I have successfully completed all my challenges I may even make some blue soup when I am done.

12 Weeks

2010-07-28T20:21:00.000-07:00
How far along? 12 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: Just about 3 pounds - feels like much more though, especially in my bum!!

Maternity clothes? I live in my belly band. Everything from my regular work pants to my capris I wear on the weekend I wear with my belly band. I have been wearing a lot of my maternity or loose fitting tops - more for comfort than anything else. I am still very much in that "she looks like she has put on some weight" stage instead of pregnant. Did I mention before how much I love this awkward stage?

Stretch marks? Nope, but I am starting to lather up with lotion on the belly every morning. Rather be safe than sorry.

Best moment this week? When a few people realize that I am actually pregnant and not just gaining weight at a rapid pace. Also, I went back to the gym for the first time since about 6 weeks preggo. I finally came home with enough energy to head over to the gym instead of just falling on the couch as soon as I walked in the door.

Movement: I don't think it would be classify as movement but I am starting to feel that little fluttering things going on.

Food cravings: No cravings yet but still always hungry. I have to eat every half hour or so or my stomach really starts to hurt. I have noticed that I do prefer more sweet things than before I was pregnant (this was also true with my pregnancy with Luke). When I am not pregnant I love salty stuff - chips, peanuts, popcorn - NEVER anything sweet. My mom doesn't know how I could be related to her!! :)

Gender: Going to be a surprise!!

Labor Signs: Not at all.

Belly Button in or out? In and expanding.

What I am looking forward to: Getting in to my second trimester and looking more pregnant. I am also looking forward to hopefully getting more energy back so I can get back into somewhat of a exercise routine.

Emotions: I have been feeling pretty needy lately. Especially towards my hubby. Other than that though I have been surprisingly calm and over all pretty happy. Just taking each day as it comes and not thinking to far into the future - just trying to enjoy every moment.

Weekly Wisdom: If you are tired, don't fight it, just go to bed!!

12 WEEK PICS:

2nd Doctor's Appointment

2010-07-22T18:54:00.000-07:00
We had our second appointment on Monday. It was a pretty standard appointment, I gave a lot of blood and a few urine samples. Dr. Scates was great as usual, calming my nerves at every opportunity he could and answering the million different questions that Rob and I both had. We have opted to not do any first or second trimester screenings - that would test the baby for a variety of different birth defects. We both feel like the extra test are just not worth the risk that comes along with these test. With Luke, EVERYTHING came back normal and we still ended up losing our precious baby. Our motto this whole pregnancy has been "Let go and let God." I was very releaved that Dr. Scates was complety okay with our decision.

Our next appointment is in four weeks. I will be about 15 weeks at that point. It should be a pretty basic appointment. They will most likely listen for the baby's heartbeat, take a urnine sample, and just make sure I am measuring on schedule. We will only have one other ultrasound at 20 weeks when they check the anatomy of the baby to make sure all looks good.

Over all I am feeling pretty good. I feel much more tired with this pregnancy and I am already starting to have some lower back pain which I didn't start getting till about 18 weeks with Luke. Oh well, every pregancy is different right?! I am getting a little frustartated about my lack of exercise. I ran a 5K in May and now I am hardly taking the dogs for a walk around the block. I am really starting to get frustarted but I am just so exhauseted, my energy is shot by the time I get home. Maybe within this new trismeter I will start getting some of that much needed energy back.

Till next time....

9 Weeks

2010-07-11T19:01:00.000-07:00
How far along? 9 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: My weight has been fluctuating (which is very normal for me) over the last few weeks. I would say that so far I have gained about one to two pounds. I feel pretty bloated most days so I am sure it is all water weight.

Maternity clothes? Not really. For comfort I have have been wearing my belly band with a loose fitting top. I am in that really awkward stage were I just look like I have been letting myself go which in turn has caused a bit of a "muffin top" look. Very sexy I must say.

Stretch marks? Nope, and I would LOVE to keep it that way.

Best moment this week? Vomiting a little less. The last few weeks had been bad but I am slowly starting to feel the morning sickness dissipate.

Movement: No, but lots of gas....oh the joys of pregnancy!!

Food cravings: Not really, just hungry ALL THE TIME.

Gender: We are going to keep it a surprise. I am already buying lots of green and yellow stuff. Poor kid.

Labor Signs: Not at all. I did have a little spotting around 6 1/2 weeks that lasted for a few days, went to the doctor and he said everything looked great. I haven't had any spotting since.

Belly Button in or out? In...surrounded by the muffin top.

What I am looking forward to: Looking pregnant and getting some energy back. I don't remember being so tired with Luke. Some days I just hit a wall and just walking up the stairs to get into bed is exhausting. And I am so hoping that within a few weeks the morning sickness will be gone, for good!!

Emotions: Cautiously optimistic. I am excited about being pregnant, however with this pregnancy everything has been so different. From the beginning I have taken each day at a time and have really lived in the moment. I am hopefully for a happy and healthy future but I am also living a life that my past won't allow me to forget. I pray this baby grows strong everyday and I treat each day as a blessing.

Weekly Wisdom: Don't eat until I am stuffed or there will be consequences. Just ask my husband about that when we went for a walk last week after a big dinner. Let's just say I wasn't full when I got home.

Here is the truth: Morning (I mean ALL DAY) sickness stinks!!

Milestones: Not sure that this counts as a milestone, but, went to a 100+ homes garage sale with my mom on Saturday and got about three boxes of gently usued (they all looked brand new) baby clothes for $24.00. It was well over $200.00 worth of clothes had I got them new. I LOVE being a bargain shopper. I also got an electric breast pump that had never been used for $5.00. Very exciting!!

And here are this weeks pictures....

This was 9 weeks with Luke...

I was a little excited...can you tell?? Oh to be that carefree again...

So far, so good

2010-06-30T20:58:00.000-07:00
We had our first doctor's appointment last Friday. I was very nervous, my heart rate was 142/94. That is super high for me...what can I say - I have kinda been threw the ringer as they say. I had been feeling pretty good, morning sickness and serious fatigue had been very present but that was something I had experience with Luke too.

The doctor came in, reassured me that the symptoms I was experience were completely normal. He did an ultrasound, quickly found the baby, as well as he/she's little heartbeat. After the ultrasound he again reassured us (mainly me) that everything looked good. I have an awesome doctor has been so supportive, kind, and makes Rob and I both feel like he truly cares about our well being. He is the kind of doctor that you feel like you have known since you had your first major boo-boo and he stitched you up when you were about five years old. I am one hundred percent confident in him and his practice and after our appointment I immediately remembered why I loved having him as my doctor.

I was measuring right were I should be - about 6 1/2 weeks. We have another appointment in three weeks and will give an update then. So now we sit tight, stay healthy and let this little baby bean grow. Please keep us and our Lil' Baby T in your prayers.

2010-05-09T20:01:00.001-07:00

Thinking of you baby boy...becuase of you I am forever a mommy, your mommy.

I love you my angel.
Mommy

5K!!

2010-05-09T19:45:00.001-07:00

I did it!! I completed my first 5K run and accomplished my goal. My Aunt Lisa and I ran the Race for the Cure on Saturday and it was awesome. I had set out a goal to do my first 5K run about a month or so ago and I am so proud of myself. I was telling my Aunt that I think it is the first goal I have ever accomplished. I have set out to do things in the past, but never had I set an actual goal that I wanted to accomplish - and I did it!! I officially have the running bug, my next goal - a 10K. Wish me luck!!

Only you

2010-05-09T19:37:00.001-07:00
For Mother's Day all I wanted to do was be with my hubby. We did nothing but eat and watch movies all day long. We both felt really lazy, but we were both craving some one on one time. This last week had been really crazy and hectic for both of us so it was nice to just veg together. And my husband loves me so much. He really wanted to give me a treat for Mother's Day since I had been feeling kind of blue - so he let me pick the movies we would rent. One of them was The Young Victoria. Like I said, he really loves me. At the end of the movie there was a song that I was drawn to. Every once in awhile I will hear a song that just touches me and really relates to us. This song, Only You, reminds me so much of Rob and I. Anyway, I just thought I would add it since it's such a beautiful song.

Our Home

2010-05-09T19:13:00.000-07:00
We have been in our home for a little over four months now and we LOVE it. We have enjoyed spending time in our yard, entertaining guest, and creating new memories. Our beautiful home has been such a nice breath of fresh air. It has been a long time since I have posted to this blog and for that I am sorry, we have just been so busy doing "new home owner" things - IE spending lots of time and money at either Home Depot or Lowe's. Here are a few pictures of the new additions to the Turnage home.

Our new garden...

A few of my favorites...

Solar lights, they are the best...

Look at our grass grow...

And us...

And entertaining our guests....Nana and Poppy playing Wii for the first time. Good times!!

Our New House

2009-12-11T20:42:00.000-08:00

A new beginning....

Crabbing - Dillion Beach

2009-11-15T16:42:00.001-08:00

Rob and I went to Dillon Beach this weekend with friends and family. Had a great time, ate A LOT. We are both doing well, missing Luke of course, but trying our best to move forward. We know the holidays are going to be tough for us this year, but are thankful for the love and support we are getting from everyone. Hope you enjoy the photos!!

Disneyland '09

2009-11-02T19:55:00.000-08:00

Friday morning we found out that we were going to Disneyland...that night. It was a last minute decision, but SO worth it. We took my super, wonderful cousins down on Friday night and then drove back home on Sunday afternoon after a short visit to Santa Monica beach. It was a whirlwind weekend, but just the trip that Rob and I needed.

I love you brother...

2009-10-25T18:17:00.001-07:00

My brother turned 26 on the 21st of October. We went downtown to surprise his for his birthday and we had a great time. Robert and I have always been really close, sometimes I have to remind myself that I am not his mommy, and that I am his sister. I just love him that much. Ever since we were little I have always loved and protected him. I am not sure if he always appreciated it, but I did it anyway. It amazes me at what a kind, loving, and strong man he has become. He is a true blessing to me and I am so thankful that he is my big, I mean little brother. My life would not be complete without him.

2009-10-04T20:39:00.001-07:00

Moving Forward

2009-10-04T19:23:00.001-07:00
This picture is our screensaver, at home and at work. I love it because it reminds me of a much happier time in our lives. We were at a friends wedding, I was about 10 weeks pregnant and we were so blissful. We spent most of the evening dancing with friends and talking about our excitement about being pregnant. What we wouldn't do to go back to that moment, when life still made sense and we were completely at peace.

I also love this picture because it was placed with Luke in his casket, along with a precious blanket that my Nana made for him. If you believe as I do, my son is really not there. His body is but his sweet, angel spirit is up in heaven. In my mind I like to think that he comes to visit his body and when he does, I want him to see the picture of the two people who loved him more than anything in the world. I think about his sweet little body, wrapped perfectly in his hand- crafted blanket with mommy and daddy lying with him. The three of us, all nestled together wrapped in Nana's blanket. So as you can see, this picture brings me comfort. It reminds me of a more peaceful time, but also reminds me that it's a picture of the three of us together, forever.

Rob and I are back to house hunting. I have a much different outlook on it this time around, I figure if we are meant to buy a house then it will happen, but if it doesn't, there is no need to get discouraged. There are a ton of houses out there, I am sure eventually we will find the right one.

I went back to work on the 21st and I will be honest, I am still feeling a little out of place. I have always felt fortunate in having a job were I love what I do, but I am having a hard time getting back on track. I find that my ability to retain things has become a lot harder. They tell me that memory goes during and after pregnancy but memory loss is also common during phases of grieving and being that I am dealing with both, I am hopeful that it will one day be restored. Rob and I are trying to go through the motions right now. I am fortunate that we have such an awesome marriage, losing Luke has brought us together but we still have our moments. We want to "fix" each other but unfortunately that is just not possible. We can only move forward together and pray that with time we will be able to pick up the pieces and find a new sense of "normal."

Also, we are still waiting to get Luke's autopsy results back. They say that it can take quite a while but I am really getting anxious. Hopefully we will eventually get some answers.

Forever my baby, my first born, the love of my life.

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Alfred Lord Tennyson

When life gives you lemons....drink lemon drops

2009-09-22T20:59:00.000-07:00

Rob and I wanted to get out of town this last weekend because we needed to rejuvenate. I went back to work this last Monday and so we wanted one last weekend of relaxation. Our friends Brian and Cat were going up to their cabin in Tahoe and so we just kinda invited ourselves. We thought it would be a great place to just kick back and relax amongst great company. So we headed up on Friday night, and because we stopped for dinner at my grandparents house on the way up we didn't arrive until 9'ish. Cat's parents were also staying at the cabin so Brian and Cat asked if we wanted to go get a drink at Sunnyside since their kids could stay at the cabin with Cat's parents. "Of course," we said. So off we went to get some bubbly. It had been a long time (obviously) since I had a "real" drink, and so when we all stepped up to the bar, Cat asks me "wanna have a lemon drop with me?" I said, "sure, what the heck." So after ordering our drinks we all head outside to enjoy the beautiful Tahoe air. Cat and I sat on one side of the outside bar and Rob and Brian sat on another. Brian and Cat have always been such great friends but tonight something seemed just a little more special that usual. As I sat down with Cat I just started rambling. I started talking about Luke, about work, about how hard everything had been, all the while Cat just sitting there listening to me. Every once in awhile I would look over and see Rob doing the same. He'd say something about work, then about Luke, Brian too just sitting there letting his friend purge. Brian and Cat of course would interject some words of encouragement here and there during the conversation but mostly just listened to us. After we closed the bar (yes, I just said "closed" the bar), we stumbled, I mean headed back to the cabin. We attempted to play a board game but somehow the conversation became very deep. I was really needing to have a good cry, and so I did. And just as graciously as they were to have let us purge at Sunnyside, Brian and Cat let me cry. They just let me cry, and that felt so good. There were no words really said other than "we love you" and " we are here for you" but most of the time it was silent, silent so that I could just cry, and that was EXACTLY what I needed.

Brian and Cat, Rob and I love you both so much. This weekend was perfect. We were able to laugh and cry and then laugh some more, and most of the time you did it right along with us. We are so blessed and grateful to have you as our friends. You have no idea how much your friendship means to us.

PS - The lemon drops were delicious!

Were to begin...

2009-09-15T22:01:00.000-07:00
I know it has been a long time since I last posted on our blog, and for that I am really sorry. I am not sure if anyone was really following it before but in case you were...I'm back. A lot has happened since last summer. Rob and I are stronger and closer that we have ever been but sadly life has taken us through some difficult times. That being said, we are pressing on and are looking forward to a brighter future. Our goal is to re-focus on the things that matter most in life, our friends, our family, and of coarse each other. We are so very grateful to our amazing friends and family who have stood by and supported us during such a devastating time in our life. We will forever be grateful.

Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with. -Mark Twain

And before I go to bed...how could I forget the wedding pictures!!

2008-09-24T21:32:00.000-07:00

My favorites...

Fall is here - Yipee!!

2008-09-24T21:22:00.000-07:00
Fall is my favorite season. It's the changing of the weather and the anticipatoion of the holidays that I love the most. We are so blessed to live in a place that allows us to see the real beauty that the season brings.

2008-09-24T20:40:00.001-07:00

So here it goes...its official...I am blogging. I have been meaning to do this many moons ago but to be honest I just haven't taken the time to just sit down and start the "blogging" process. My goal for this "blog" is to get us better connected with our friends and family that we wish we could seem more often....which is pretty much everyone!!